Of Pranks and Reading Book 2
by Rosa Clearwater
Summary: Enemies, Professors, Lemondrops oh my! The Second Part Of Pranks and Reading! The original characters are back again, but without magic making sure they don't harm one another, can they make it through this reading alive?
1. Chapter 1

Author Note: Ello! I'm back for the Second Story, which I shall get the actual first chapter of soon (this isn't the first real chapter). Also I got a quick question: **Anyone in the audience willing to beta? **And also considering I'm new **does someone mind explaining the whole beta thing?** If not, then that's a pity. If so, then thanks  
"Messrs. Lupin, Potter, and Black! Report to my office immediately!" Minerva McGonagall said sharply, and students parted to let the three boys go by. Immediately they put on a cheerful grin.

"Ello Min Min!" Sirius said, his eyes betraying his glee at seeing the Professor.

"What's going into our three file cabinets today Professor?" Asked Remus, knowing what was going to happen

"We've done nothing wrong, you've got no evidence!" James cried, still having not caught on. Nonetheless, the three of walked to Minerva's office, waving off Peter ("Because you're not in trouble!" Said Sirius).

The four of them entered the office, seeing three more people sitting in comfortable chairs.

"Hello Headmaster!" Remus said once the door closed

"Snape" Sirius inclined his head to notice the guy was there.

"Lilyflower" Said James sappily then continued "So why are we all here?" He asked curiously. This got mixed reactions: Albus's eyes twinkled in amusement, Sirius and Remus looked at James as if questioning his sanity, Lily rolled her eyes, and Minerva just watched.

"I've got the book Professor!" Lily said clutching _Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets_ in her hands.

"OH! We're going to my house to read about the fut-"

"Not so loud Mr. Potter!" Minerva hissed. They waited a moment, because sure enough footsteps were heard walking pass the door though very slowly, as if the person was trying to eavesdrop on the conversation. Minerva pointed a silencing spell on the door, so they could be heard, and then the chatter began.

"Can we go now?" Whined James, now as excited as Sirius because they were going to read about his son. Minerva said, getting irritated again. She looked out a nearby window and saw the Hogwarts Express leaving.

"I do believe now would be a good time James." Albus said before charming the Second Book to become a portkey. They all grabbed it as it glowed bright blue, and then everyone was gone.

**Of Reading and Pranks Book 2**

"Let's get started! Can we read it now?" Sirius complained as they arrived instantaneously at the Potter Manor. They all went to James's room and after greeting James's parents, opened the book. Minerva casted another charm on the door as James took the book opening it the first chapter

"**The Worst Birthday" **He began, and frowned.

"Dursleys!" Sirius and Remus threatened, not liking the sound of the chapter…


	2. The Worst Birthday

Author Note: First official chapter up. I'd like to thank my beta reader Flags_R_Us for betaing. Read and Review please . Anything with a bold * will be explained at the bottom.

"The Worst Birthday," James said again and stared at the book.

"Oh dear," muttered Severus, sarcastically. He had remembered his own bad birthdays as he ignored the others as they either stared or glared at him. James took pity on him and began reading again.

**Not for the first time, an argument had broken out over breakfast at number four, Privet Drive. Mr. Vernon Dursley had been woken in the early hours of the morning by a loud, hooting noise from his nephew Harry's room.**

"Third time this week!" he roared across the table. "If you can't control that owl, it'll have to go!" Harry tried, yet again, to explain.

"Hedwig is the only connection Harry has to the Wizarding World! You can't get rid of her!" Remus said hotly.

**"She's bored," he said. "She's used to flying around outside. If I could just let her out at night -"**

**"Do I look stupid."**

"Indeed you do," Sirius said.

**snarled Uncle Vernon, a bit of fried egg dangling from his bushy mustache.**

Many readers cringed from the mental image.

"My mind shall never function properly again," Sirius said

"I never knew it did," Minerva and Severus said in response. He glared Severus and resisted getting into a glaring gontest with Minerva, not wanting his heart to freeze today.

**"I know what'll happen if that owl's let out." He exchanged dark looks with his wife, Petunia.**

"Yes, because you know everything about owls!" Remus said sarcastically

"Does that mean he knows how I could have passed my O.W.L.s Remmy?" Sirius asked grinning.

**Harry tried to argue back but his words were drowned by a long, loud belch from the Dursleys' son, Dudley.**

"Disgusting," Lily said.

**"I want more bacon."**

"Brat," hissed James, Remus, and Sirius.

"Harry doesn't get bacon!" Lily snapped at the book.

"Students, I do hope you haven't been shouting at a book," Albus said his eyes twinkling in amusement as they all pouted.

**"There's more in the frying pan, sweetums," said Aunt Petunia, turning misty eyes on her massive son. "We must build you up while we've got the chance ... I don't like the sound of that school food ...**

"Build him up? Does she know how much he weighs?" Minerva asked sharply.

"Minnie…how do you how much he weighs?" Sirius asked. She didn't respond.

**"Nonsense, Petunia, I never went hungry when I was at Smeltings," said Uncle Vernon heartily. "Dudley gets enough, don't you, son." Dudley, who was so large his bottom drooped over either side of the kitchen chair, grinned and turned to Harry.**

"Pass the frying pan."

**"You've forgotten the magic word," said Harry irritably.**

"Oh dear," said practically everyone in the room. They had a feeling that saying magic wasn't going to pass by unnoticed.

**The effect of this simple sentence on the rest of the family was incredible: Dudley gasped and fell off his chair with a crash that shook the whole kitchen; Mrs. Dursley gave a small scream and clapped her hands to her mouth; Mr. Dursley jumped to his feet, veins throbbing in his temples.**

"Drama queens. The whole lot," Severus scoffed rolling his eyes.

**"I meant `please'!" said Harry quickly. "I didn't mean -"**

**"WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU," thundered his uncle, spraying spit over the table, "ABOUT SAYING THE `M' WORD IN OUR HOUSE."**

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" cried the marauders in the room. Minerva gripped her chair and Albus's eyes no longer twinkled.

**"But I -"**

**"HOW DARE YOU THREATEN DUDLEY!"**

"HE DID NOTHING OF THE SORT!" shrieked Lily.

**roared Uncle Vernon, pounding the table with his fist.**

"I just -"

**"I WARNED YOU! I WILL NOT TOLERATE MENTION OF YOUR ABNORMALITY UNDER THIS ROOF!" Harry stared from his purple-faced uncle to his pale aunt, who was trying to heave Dudley to his feet. "All right," said Harry, "all right. . . " Uncle Vernon sat back down, breathing like a winded rhinoceros and watching Harry closely out of the corners of his small, sharp eyes.**

Ever since Harry had come home for the summer holidays, Uncle Vernon had been treating him like a bomb that might go off at any moment, because Harry Potter wasn't a normal boy. As a matter of fact, he was as not normal as it is possible to be.

"Please don't me, we have to relearn he's Potter's child," complained Severus.

**Harry Potter was a wizard - a wizard fresh from his first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And if the Dursleys were unhappy to have him back for the holidays, it was nothing to how Harry felt.**

He missed Hogwarts so much it was like having a constant stomachache. He missed the castle, with its secret passageways and ghosts, his classes (though perhaps not Snape, the Potions master), the mail arriving by owl, eating banquets in the Great Hall, sleeping in his four-poster bed in the tower dormitory, visiting the gamekeeper, Hagrid, in his cabin next to the Forbidden Forest in the grounds, and, especially, Quidditch, the most popular sport in the wizarding world (six tall goal posts, four flying balls, and fourteen players on broomsticks).

All Harry's spellbooks, his wand, robes, cauldron, and top-of-the-line Nimbus Two Thousand broomstick had been locked in a cupboard under the stairs by Uncle Vernon the instant Harry had come home.

"What! How is suppose to remember and do his homework?" Minerva shouted angrily while Sirius said "Leave the homework; take the broom, wand, and then leave!"

**What did the Dursleys care if Harry lost his place on the House Quidditch team because he hadn't practiced all summer.**

"Not possible," snorted Sirius

**What was it to the Dursleys if Harry went back to school without any of his homework done. The Dursleys were what wizards called Muggles (not a drop of magical blood in their veins), and as far as they were concerned, having a wizard in the family was a matter of deepest shame. Uncle Vernon had even padlocked Harry's owl, Hedwig, inside her cage, to stop her from carrying messages to anyone in the wizarding world.**

Harry looked nothing like the rest of the family. Uncle Vernon was large and neckless, with an enormous black mustache; Aunt Petunia was horse-faced and bony; Dudley was blond, pink, and porky. Harry, on the other hand, was small and skinny, with brilliant green eyes and jet-black hair that was always untidy. He wore round glasses, and on his forehead was a thin, lightning-shaped scar.

Everyone in the room sighed, knowing what the scar stood for.

**It was this scar that made Harry so particularly unusual, even for a wizard. This scar was the only hint of Harry's very mysterious past, of the reason he had been left on the Dursleys' doorstep eleven years before.**

At this, Albus felt two pair of eyes glaring at him so he stood up a little straighter.

**At the age of one year old, Harry had somehow survived a curse from the greatest Dark sorcerer of all time, Lord Voldemort, whose name most witches and wizards still feared to speak. Harry's parents had died in Voldemort's attack, but Harry had escaped with his lightning scar, and somehow - nobody understood why Voldemort's powers had been destroyed the instant he had failed to kill Harry.**

"Except Dumbles."

"Professor Dumbledore, Mr. Black," Minerva said sternly

**So Harry had been brought up by his dead mother's sister and her husband. He had spent ten years with the Dursleys, never understanding why he kept making odd things happen without meaning to, believing the Dursleys' story that he had got his scar in the car crash that had killed his parents.**

And then, exactly a year ago, Hogwarts had written to Harry, and the whole story had come out. Harry had taken up his place at wizard school, where he and his scar were famous ... but now the school year was over, and he was back with the Dursleys for the summer, back to being treated like a dog that had rolled in something smelly.

"Stop insulting Dogs!" Sirius growled. Everyone looked at him, remembering his secret

**The Dursleys hadn't even remembered that today happened to be Harry's twelfth birthday. Of course, his hopes hadn't been high; they'd never given him a real present, let alone a cake - but to ignore it completely ...**

At that moment, Uncle Vernon cleared his throat importantly and said, "Now, as we all know, today is a very important day." Harry looked up, hardly daring to believe it.

Everyone stared at the book except for Snape.

"Probably something for himself, not Harry," he muttered

**"This could well be the day I make the biggest deal of my career, "said Uncle Vernon.**

Everyone glared at the book. Forgetting Harry's birthday was not right!

**Harry went back to his toast. Of course, he thought bitterly, Uncle Vernon was talking about the stupid dinner party. He'd been talk ing of nothing else for two weeks. Some rich builder and his wife were coming to dinner and Uncle Vernon was hoping to get a huge order from him (Uncle Vernon's company made drills).**

"I think we should run through the schedule one more time," said Uncle Vernon. "We should all be in position at eight o'clock. Petunia, you will be -."

**"In the lounge," said Aunt Petunia promptly, "waiting to welcome them graciously to our home."**

"I'd run once I saw you."

**"Good, good. And Dudley."**

**"I'll be waiting to open the door." Dudley put on a foul, simpering smile. "May I take your coats, Mr. and Mrs. Mason."**

The teens in the room all mimed puking.

**"They'll love him!" cried Aunt Petunia rapturously.**

"Excellent, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon. Then he rounded on Harry.

"And you."

**"I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I'm not there," said Harry tonelessly.**

Lily was beside herself in fury, shaking badly in rage.

**"Exactly," said Uncle Vernon nastily. "I will lead them into the lounge, introduce you, Petunia, and pour them -drinks. At eight- fifteen -"**

**"I'll announce dinner," said Aunt Petunia.**

"And, Dudley, you'll say -"

**"May I take you through to the dining room, Mrs. Mason." said Dudley, offering his fat arm to an invisible woman.**

"My perfect little gentleman!" sniffed Aunt Petunia.

"My perfect," Sirius said in a good imitation of Aunt Petunia, "little pig!"

**"And you." said Uncle Vernon viciously to Harry. "I'll be in my room, making no noise and pretending I'm not there," said Harry dully.**

"Precisely. Now, we should aim to get in a few good compliments at dinner. Petunia, any ideas." "Vernon tells me you're a wonderful golfer, Mr. Mason... Do tell me where you bought your dress, Mrs. Mason ...

"Perfect. . . Dudley."

**"How about -'We had to write an essay about our hero at school, Mr. Mason, and I wrote about you."' This was too much for both Aunt Petunia and Harry. Aunt Petunia burst into tears and hugged her son, while Harry ducked under the table so they wouldn't see him laughing.**

"And you, boy." Harry fought to keep his face straight as he emerged.

"I'll be in my room, making no noise and pretending I'm not there," he said.

"Too right, you will," said Uncle Vernon forcefully. "The Masons don't know anything about you and it's going to stay that way.

"Probably not. Harry has this teeny tiny tendency to not go according to any plans." Remus said smiling.

**When dinner's over, you take Mrs. Mason back to the lounge for coffee, Petunia, and I'll bring the subject around to drills. With any luck, I'll have the deal signed and sealed before the news at ten. We'll be shopping for a vacation home in Majorca this time tomorrow.**

Harry couldn't feel too excited about this. He didn't think the Dursleys would like him any better in Majorca than they did on Privet Drive.

"They probably won't even take you," Lily said. "Oh Tuney, why are you so cruel?" she whispered as James and Severus put a hand on her shoulders*****.

**"Right - I'm off into town to pick up the dinner jackets for Dudley and me. And you," he snarled at Harry. "You stay out of your aunt's way while she's cleaning." Harry left through the back door. It was a brilliant, sunny day.**

"The irony," said James, shaking his head.

**He crossed the lawn, slumped down on the garden bench, and sang under his breath:**

**"Happy birthday to me ... happy birthday to me. . .**

All the women sniffled slightly, while the boys looked a tad put out.

**No cards, no presents, and he would be spending the evening pretending not to exist. He gazed miserably into the hedge. He had never felt so lonely. More than anything else at Hogwarts, more even than playing Quidditch, Harry missed his best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. They, however, didn't seem to be missing him at all. Neither of them had written to him all summer, even though Ron had said he was going to ask Harry to come and stay.**

"If they ignored him!" James openly threatened.

"But why would they? They've proven they like him, and they should be writing to him especially since he's the boy who lived." Remus asked

**Countless times, Harry had been on the point of unlocking Hedwig's cage by magic and sending her to Ron and Hermione with a letter, but it wasn't worth the risk. Underage wizards weren't allowed to use magic outside of school. Harry hadn't told the Dursleys this; he knew it was only their terror that he might turn them all into dung beetles that stopped them from locking him in the cupboard under the stairs with his wand and broomstick.**

**For the first couple of weeks back, Harry had enjoyed muttering nonsense words under his breath and watching Dudley tearing out of the room as fast as his fat legs would carry him. But the long silence from Ron and Hermione had made Harry feel so cut off from the magical world that even taunting Dudley had lost its appeal - and now Ron and Hermione had forgotten his birthday.**

"They haven't, Harry! There has to be a reasonable explanation," Lily whispered again.

**What wouldn't he give now for a message from Hogwarts. From any witch or wizard. He'd almost be glad of a sight of his archenemy, Draco Malfoy, just to be sure it hadn't all been a dream ...**

Sirius eyes widened, no way in Hell would he want to see Severus Snape to make sure Hogwarts wasn't a dream.

**Not that his whole year at Hogwarts had been fun. At the very end of last term, Harry had come face-to-face with none other than Lord Voldemort himself.**

Lily gulped, and the room visibly paled, remembering the experience.

**Voldemort might be a ruin of his former self, but he was still terrifying, still cunning, still determined to regain power.**

Harry had slipped through Voldemort's clutches for a second time, but it had been a narrow escape, and even now, weeks later, Harry kept waking in the night, drenched in cold sweat, wondering where Voldemort was now, remembering his livid face, his wide, mad eyes Harry suddenly sat bolt upright on the garden bench. He had been staring absent-mindedly into the hedge - and the hedge was staring back.

Two enormous green eyes had appeared among the leaves.

"What the?" Lily asked curiously.

**Harry jumped to his feet just as a jeering voice floated across the lawn.**

"I know what day it is," sang Dudley, waddling toward him.

The huge eyes blinked and vanished.

"What." said Harry, not taking his eyes off the spot where they had been.

"I know what day it is," Dudley repeated, coming right up to him.

"So he knows what day of the week, big deal," Severus sneered.

**"Well done," said Harry. "So you've finally learned the days of the week."**

**"Today's your birthday," sneered Dudley. "How come you haven't got any cards. Haven't you even got friends at that freak place."**

All of the readers suddenly –very casually of course- wrapped their fingers around their wands. Remus nudged Sirius.

"Number Four Privet Drive right?" he asked him while James turned to Lily.

"Lily flower! Can we pay a visit to your sister?" he asked a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Don't blow up the house," Lily said but nodded in response.

**"Better not let your mum hear you talking about my school," said Harry coolly.**

Dudley hitched up his trousers, which were slipping down his fat bottom.

"Why're you staring at the hedge." he said suspiciously.

" I'm trying to decide what would be the best spell to set it on fire," said Harry.

Dudley stumbled backward at once, a look of panic on his fat face.

"You c-can't - Dad told you you're not to do m-magic - he said he'll chuck you out of the house - and you haven't got anywhere else to go - you haven't got any friends to take you -"

**"Jiggery pokery!"**

Everyone stared at the book, bracing themselves for laughter.

"He has to be an idiot to believe this!" Sirius said.

"Mr. Black, I do believe we have confirmed he is not the sharpest tool in the Quidditch Broom Closest," Minerva said.

"Um Professor, I think the muggle saying is 'he's not the sharpest tool in the shed'," Lily said, looking at her Professor.

**said Harry in a fierce voice. "Hocus pocus squiggly wiggly -" "MUUUUUUM!" howled Dudley,**

Everyone had mixed reactions; Albus chuckled to himself, the marauders roared with laughter, Minerva had barely stifled a few giggles, Lily laughed melodiously, and Snape stopped himself from snorting.

**tripping over his feet as he dashed back toward the house. "MUUUUM! He's doing you know what!" Harry paid dearly for his moment of fun. As neither Dudley nor the hedge was in any way hurt, Aunt Petunia knew he hadn't really done magic, but he still had to duck as she aimed a heavy blow at his head with the soapy frying pan.**

"PETUNIA!" Lily bellowed while Minerva shouted "Mrs. Dursley!"

**Then she gave him work to do, with the promise he wouldn't eat again until he'd finished.**

While Dudley lolled around watching and eating ice cream, Harry cleaned the windows, washed the car, mowed the lawn, trimmed the flowerbeds, pruned and watered the roses, and repainted the garden bench.

"He's like a house elf!" cried Lily. Everyone else just settled for giving a hard glare at the book.

**The sun blazed overhead, burning the back of his neck. Harry knew he shouldn't have risen to Dudley's bait, but Dudley had said the very thing Harry had been thinking himself... maybe he didn't have any friends at Hogwarts ...**

Almost everyone shouted at the book, "But you do!"

**Wish they could see famous Harry Potter now, he thought savagely as he spread manure on the flower beds, his back aching, sweat running down his face.**

It was half past seven, in the evening when at last, exhausted, he heard Aunt Petunia calling him.

"Get in here! And walk on the newspaper!" Harry moved gladly into the shade of the gleaming kitchen. On top of the fridge stood tonight's pudding: a huge mound of whipped cream and sugared violets. A loin of roast pork was sizzling in the oven.

"Food," moaned Sirius and James. Lily rolled her eyes****

"Eat quickly! The Masons will be here soon!" snapped Aunt Petunia, pointing to two slices of bread and a lump of cheese on the kitchen table. She was already wearing a salmon-pink cocktail dress.

Harry washed his hands and bolted down his pitiful supper. The moment he had finished, Aunt Petunia whisked away his plate.

"Upstairs! Hurry!" As he passed the door to the living room, Harry caught a glimpse of Uncle Vernon and Dudley in bow ties and dinner jackets. He had only just reached the upstairs landing when the door bell rang and Uncle Vernon's furious face appeared at the foot of the stairs.

"Remember, boy - one sound -" Harry crossed to his bedroom on tiptoe slipped inside, closed the door, and turned to collapse on his bed.

The trouble was, there was already someone sitting on it.

"Maybe it was that mysterious figure!" Sirius whispered.

"Would anyone care for some lunch?" Mrs. Potter popped her head inside the room, watching everyone as delicious smells of cooked food came into the room. Everyone nodded and James closed the book. They all left downstairs to have some food.

Thanks for reading. The ***** was to explain this: The order of the sitting arrangements are: Remus and Sirius are on James's bed, Minerva and Dumbledore are sitting nearest to the door -having conjured comfortable wooden chairs for themselves- Severus, Lily, and James are all on the floor and sit right next to each other.


	3. Author Note

Author Note: I'm back! And I had fooled into thinking I was going to say that I'm quitting or something didn't I? Well don't worry, I'm going to try to get one out per week. Since I haven't done this type of writing in a while, this chapter will not be beta read. Just because some FRIENDLY actions have happened, doesn't mean this has set the story as a Snape/Lily OR Lily/James.

As they entered back into the room, Sirius was complaining that he didn't get enough time to eat, McGonagall ignoring him, and Severus drifting slightly from the crowd. Dumbledore unobtrusively casted silencing spells to keep in the noise. But then with a reassuring smile, Lily grabbed his arm and led him back to his spot. James slightly glared at him, but very slowly was beginning to warm up to Snivellious.

Lily took the book and began reading, skipping over the chapter's title to the protest of almost everyone (James wanted to hear her read as soon as possible since he loved listening to her voice; Severus really didn't care as long as he could limit his times with the Marauders as little as possible.)

**Harry managed not to shout out, but it was a close thing. The little creature on the bed had large, bat-like ears and bulging green eyes the size of tennis balls. **

"House Elf!"

"I do believe James that everyone in this room knows what a House Elf looks like." Lily said sharply

**Harry knew instantly that this was what had been watching him out of the garden hedge that morning.**

As they stared at each other, Harry heard Dudley's voice from the hall.  
"And the torture begins" Remus said with Sirius. **  
"May I take your coats, Mr. and Mrs. Mason." The creature slipped off the bed and bowed so low that the end of its long, thin nose touched the carpet. Harry noticed that it was wearing what looked like an old pillowcase, with rips for arm- and leg-holes.**

"Er - hello," said Harry nervously.

"Harry Potter!" said the creature in a high-pitched voice Harry was sure would carry down the stairs. "So long has Dobby wanted to meet you, sir ... Such an honor it is . . . ." 

**"Th-thank you," said Harry, edging along the wall and sinking into his desk chair, next to Hedwig, who was asleep in her large cage. He wanted to ask, "What are you." but thought it would sound too rude, **

Lily smiled, glad his manners took after her.

**so instead he said, "Who are you." "Dobby, sir. Just Dobby. Dobby the house-elf," said the creature.**

"Oh - really." said Harry. "Er - I don't want to be rude or anything, but - this isn't a great time for me to have a house-elf in my bedroom."

"Because that would never be considered rude." Severus said sarcastically, only with a little less malice. Lily looked sharply at him, and he the grace to look ashamed

**Aunt Petunias high, false laugh sounded from the living room. The elf hung his head.**

"Not that I'm not pleased to meet you," said Harry quickly, "but, er, is there any particular reason you're here." "Oh, yes, sir," said Dobby earnestly. "Dobby has come to tell you, sir ... it is difficult, sir ... Dobby wonders where to begin . . . ." "Sit down," said Harry politely, pointing at the bed.  
"Something is going to happen at Hogwarts." Minerva said, she did not like the set up of the chapter, and considering she had already read about Harry's bad luck… Well she just hoped that whatever happened wouldn't be to taxing**  
To his horror, the elf burst into tears - very noisy tears.**

"S-sit down!" he wailed. "Never ... never ever. . . " Harry thought he heard the voices downstairs falter.

**"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I didn't mean to offend you or anything -" "Offend Dobby!" choked the elf. "Dobby has never been asked to sit down by a wizard - like an equal-" Harry, trying to say "Shh!" and look comforting at the same time, ushered Dobby back onto the bed where he sat hiccoughing, looking like a large and very ugly doll. At last he managed to control himself, and sat with his great eyes fixed on Harry in an expression of watery adoration.  
**Sirius looked a little sick. It was like Kreacher's opposite**  
"You can't have met many decent wizards," said Harry, trying to cheer him up.**

Dobby shook his head.

"Oh dear."

**Then, without warning, he leapt up and started banging his head furiously on the window, shouting, "Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby!"**

Lily winced, no creature, should be forced to punish themselves like that

**"Don't - what are you doing." Harry hissed, springing up and pulling Dobby back onto the bed - Hedwig had woken up with a particularly loud screech and was beating her wings wildly against the bars of her cage.**

"Dobby had to punish himself, sir," said the elf, who had gone slightly cross-eyed. "Dobby almost spoke ill of his family, sir . . . ." 

**"Your family."**

Remus winced slightly. He remembered where Harry was, and that Lily and James were dead, which meant he was probably still too much of a coward to even take in Harry. What was he thinking?

**"The wizard family Dobby serves, sir... DOBBY'S is a houseelf - bound to serve one house and one family forever . ... "Do they know you're here." asked Harry curiously.**

Dobby shuddered.  
"I imagine _them_ to be the Malfoys then." Spat Sirius. He may not feel a close bond to Dobby, but he never disliked a House Elf who obviously didn't have good masters…. Other than Kreacher**  
"Oh, no, sir, no ... Dobby will have to punish himself most grievously for coming to see you, sir. Dobby will have to shut his ears in the oven door for this. If they ever knew, sir _"**

**"But won't they notice if you shut your ears in the oven door."**

"Sadly Mr. Potter, it appears from the state of Dobby that his masters wouldn't even care." Minerva said, slightly angry.

**"Dobby doubts it, sir. Dobby is always having to punish himself for something, sir. They lets Dobby get on with it, sir. Sometimes they reminds me to do extra punishments ...  
**Lily let out a small growl. She hated it when anyone was treated badly. She already knew of the House Elf situation, and by no means was she planning some silly organization to make all House Elves free from all masters. Didn't mean she wasn't angry about it**  
"But why don't you leave. Escape." **

**"A house-elf must be set free, sir. And the family will never set Dobby free ... Dobby will serve the family until he dies, sir . . . ." Harry stared.**

"And I thought I had it bad staying here for another four weeks," he said. "This makes the Dursleys sound almost human.

"Yes well, it's not as though you are a House Elf. Not when you're his son." Severus muttered, meaning James as his. Sirius glared at him, but didn't dare curse him in the presence of McGonagall and Dumbledore.

**Can't anyone help you. Can't I." Almost at once, Harry wished he hadn't spoken. Dobby dissolved again into wails of gratitude.**

"Please," Harry whispered frantically, "please be quiet. If the Dursleys hear anything, if they know you're here -" 

Suddenly everyone remembered the Dursleys existed. It was a world of bliss before that moment.

**"Harry Potter asks if he can help Dobby ... Dobby has heard of your greatness, sir, but of your goodness, Dobby never knew. ...**

Harry, who was feeling distinctly hot in the face, said, "Whatever you've heard about my greatness is a load of rubbish. I'm not even top of my year at Hogwarts; that's Hermione, she -" But he stopped quickly, because thinking about Hermione was painful.

"Why aren't his friends writing to him!" Lily whispered to James gripping his hand in worry. Voldemort may not be completely dead, but Hermione and Ron couldn't be in danger that quickly because of their friend!

"Nah, they're too close. He's got good friends, his letters are probably being intercepted." Sirius said, having heard Lily.

**"Harry Potter is humble and modest," said Dobby reverently, his orb- like eyes aglow. "Harry Potter speaks not of his triumph over He-Who- Must-Not-Be-Named -" "Voldemort." said Harry.**

Dobby clapped his hands over his bat ears and moaned, "Ah, speak not the name, sir! Speak not the name!" "Sorry" said Harry quickly. "I know lots of people don't like it. My friend Ron -" He stopped again. Thinking about Ron was painful, too.  
Lily frowned.**  
Dobby leaned toward Harry, his eyes wide as headlights.**

'Dobby heard tell," he said hoarsely, "that Harry Potter met the Dark Lord for a second time just weeks ago ... that Harry Potter escaped Yet again. " Harry nodded and Dobby's eyes suddenly shone with tears.

,Ah, sir," he gasped, dabbing his face with a corner of the grubby pillowcase he was wearing. "Harry Potter is valiant and bold! He has braved so many dangers already! But Dobby has come to protect Harry Potter, to warn him, even if he does have to shut his ears in the oven door later... Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts."

There was a silence broken only by the sound of a page flipped. Suddenly the Marauders and Lily jumped out of their spots, furious.

"He has to go back to Hogwarts!"

"He can't stay in Surrey with THEM!"

"Surely it isn't too dangerous at Hogwarts! Dumbledore's there!"  
"Harry CANNOT stay with my sister! She won't care for him!"

McGonagall refrained from shouting though internally she was fuming. Even if the Future wasn't changed so far, she'd be damned if she was going to let Dobby make Harry stay with the Dursleys. She ignored the shouts growing from inside the room.

"Silence." A simple word from Dumbledore got everyone to stop their fits of rage. "I am sure Dobby is only worried for Harry, perhaps he has heard a plot to destroy the Boy-Who-Lived. In order for Harry to be safe from the Dursleys however, we can arrange for him to stay somewhere else if the danger is that great." Dumbledore's logic calmed everyone down slightly, and Lily began to read again

**There was a silence broken only by the chink of knives and forks from downstairs and the distant rumble of Uncle Vernon's voice.**

"W-what." Harry stammered. "But I've got to go back - term starts on September first. It's all that's keeping me going. You don't know what it's like here. I don't belong here. I belong in your world - at Hogwarts." 

**"No, no, no," squeaked Dobby, shaking his head so hard his ears flapped. "Harry Potter must stay where he is safe. He is too great, too good, to lose. If Harry Potter goes back to Hogwarts, he will be in mortal danger."**

"Why?" Most of the room demanded

**"Why." said Harry in surprise.**

"There is a plot, Harry Potter. A plot to make most terrible things happen at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year," whispered Dobby, suddenly trembling all over. 

"It's happening again Albus. I don't know how, but the attacks are going to come back." Minerva said, knowing that it was going to happen. Only Dumbledore paid attention to her words, the others to worried listening in rapt attention. The teens were all lost in their thoughts, but one word that was repeatedly spinning around was _What is going to Happen?_

**"Dobby has known it for months, sir. Harry Potter must not put himself in peril. He is too important, sir!" "What terrible things." said Harry at once. "Who's plotting them." Dobby made a funny choking noise and then banged his head frantically against the wall.**

"All right!" cried Harry, grabbing the elf's arm to stop him. "You can't tell me. I understand. But why are you warning me." A sudden, unpleasant thought struck him. "Hang on - this hasn't got anything to do with Vol- - sorry - with You-Know-Who, has it.

You could just shake or nod," he added hastily as Dobby's head tilted worryingly close to the wall again.

Slowly, Dobby shook his head.  
"Not Voldemort?" Sirius questioned**  
"Not -not He- Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, sir' But Dobby's eyes were wide and he seemed to be trying to give Harry a hint. Harry, however, was completely lost.**

"He hasn't got a brother, has he." Dobby shook his head, his eyes wider than ever.

"Well then, I can't think who else would have a chance of making horrible things happen at Hogwarts," said Harry.

"Neither can I." Remus said, racking his brains. But Dumbledore understood, and Minerva grasped a part of the puzzle. There was _one_ person who she could think of, but she thought he might had died in the First Wizarding War against Voldemort, because he was a half-blood.

**"I mean, there's Dumbledore, for one thing - you know who Dumbledore is, don't you." Dobby bowed his head.**

"Albus Dumbledore is the greatest headmaster Hogwarts has ever had. Dobby knows it, sir. Dobby has heard Dumbledore's powers rival those of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named at the height of his strength. But, sir" - Dobby's voice dropped to an urgent whisper - "there are powers Dumbledore doesn't ... powers no decent wizard. . ."

"Definitely the Malfoys." James said agreeing with Sirius

**And before Harry could stop him, Dobby bounded off the bed, seized Harry's desk lamp, and started beating himself around the head with earsplitting yelps.**

A sudden silence fell downstairs. Two seconds later Harry, heart thudding madly, heard Uncle Vernon coming into the hall, calling, "Dudley must have left his television on again, the little tyke!" "Quick! In the closet!" hissed Harry, stuffing Dobby in, shutting the door, and flinging himself onto the bed just as the door handle turned.  
Everyone except for Lily (seeing as how she had to read) held their breath, anxious**  
"What - the - devil - are - you - doing." said Uncle Vernon through gritted teeth, his face horribly close to Harry's. "You've just ruined the punch line of my Japanese golfer joke ...**

"We've saved the Masons from a horrible fate!" Sirius cried and everyone looked puzzled at him. "The people who the Dursleys are dining with." He supplied and there was a sudden "Oh."

**One more sound and you'll wish you'd never been born, boy!" He stomped flat-footed from the room.  
**Lily gritted her teeth, nearly tearing the bottom corner of the page out. Sirius pulled out a notebook that he not only used for reading the books, but for school as well. He scribbled down something in it, cramming whatever he was writing at the end of a page.* **  
Shaking, Harry let Dobby out of the closet.**

"See what it's like here." he said. "See why I've got to go back to Hogwarts. It's the only place I've got -well, I think I've got friends. " 

**"Friends who don't even write to Harry Potter." said Dobby slyly.  
**"HE'S BEEN TAKING HIS LETTERS!" Sirius shouted, thankfully not sparking another shouting match inside the room.**  
"I expect they've just been - wait a minute," said Harry, frowning.**

"How do you know my friends haven't been writing to me." Dobby shuffled his feet.

"Harry Potter mustn't be angry with Dobby. Dobby did it for the best - "  
"What best? The greater good?" Minerva said, and Dumbledore winced being reminded of one of the reasons Harry was staying with the Dursleys.

**"Have you been stopping my letters."**

**"Dobby has them here, sir," said the elf. Stepping nimbly out of Harry's reach, he pulled a thick wad of envelopes from the inside of the pillowcase he was wearing. Harry could make out Hermione's neat writing, Ron's untidy scrawl, and even a scribble that looked as though it was from the Hogwarts gamekeeper, Hagrid.  
**"They've all been writing to him." Lily said, slightly relieved**  
Dobby blinked anxiously up at Harry.**

"Harry Potter mustn't be angry... Dobby hoped ... if Harry Potter thought his friends had forgotten him ... Harry Potter might not want to go back to school, sir . ...

Harry wasn't listening. He made a grab for the letters, but Dobby jumped out of reach.  
"Dobby! Give back the letters to Harry." Remus said sharply, annoyed with the elf now.**  
"Harry Potter will have them, sir, if he gives Dobby his word that he will not return to Hogwarts. Ah, sir, this is a danger you must not face! Say you won't go back, sir!" **

**"No," said Harry angrily**

**"Give me my friends' letters!" **

**"Then Harry Potter leaves Dobby no choice," said the elf sadly.  
**There was a sudden pause.

"What's he going to do, make food fall on the Dursleys?" Severus said, holding back a scowl. James snickered at the idea.

"It would be an improvement." He said gleefully before they both realized who they were agreeing with. They turned away, trying to ignore one another now**  
Before Harry could move, Dobby had darted to the bedroom door, pulled it open, and sprinted down the stairs.**

Mouth dry, stomach lurching, Harry sprang after him, trying not to make a sound. He jumped the last six steps, landing catlike on the hall carpet, looking around for Dobby. From the dining room he heard Uncle Vernon saying, ". . . tell Petunia that very funny story about those American plumbers, Mr. Mason. She's been dying to hear. . . " Harry ran up the hall into the kitchen and felt his stomach disappear.

Aunt Petunia's masterpiece of a pudding, the mountain of cream and sugared violets, was floating up near the ceiling. On top of a cupboard in the corner crouched Dobby.  
"No! He'll get in trouble with the Ministry!" Remus said, his annoyance increasing.**  
"No," croaked Harry. "Please ... they'll kill me ...  
**Everyone was appalled at what Dobby was doing. And then they realized Harry could in fact be correct.

"We tried to beat the magic out of him" Sirius whispered. Everyone sat up straighter on full alert now.**  
"Harry Potter must say he's not going back to school -"**

**"Dobby ... please ..." **

**"Say it, sir -" **

**"I can't -" Dobby gave him a tragic look.**

"Then Dobby must do it, sir, for Harry Potter's own good." The pudding fell to the floor with a heart-stopping crash. Cream splattered the windows and walls as the dish shattered. With a crack like a whip, Dobby vanished.  
Practically everyone winced, Harry would be in trouble now.**  
There were screams from the dining room and Uncle Vernon burst into the kitchen to find Harry, rigid with shock, covered from head to foot in Aunt Petunias pudding.**

At first, it looked as though Uncle Vernon would manage to gloss the whole thing over. ("Just our nephew - very disturbed meeting strangers upsets him, so we kept him upstairs) He shooed the shocked Masons back into the dining room, promised Harry he would flay him to within an inch of his life when the Masons had left, and handed him a mop.

Aunt Petunia dug some ice cream out of the freezer and Harry, still shaking, started scrubbing the kitchen clean.

Uncle Vernon might still have been able to make his deal - if it hadn't been for the owl.  
"Oh dear. Bloody Minstry!" Hissed Sirius

"Language Mr. Black!" Minerva said sternly, though she mentally was screaming every curse in Gaelic that she knew.**  
Aunt Petunia was just passing around a box of after-dinner mints when a huge barn owl swooped through the dining room window, dropped a letter on Mrs. Mason's head, and swooped out again. Mrs. Mason screamed like a banshee and ran from the house shouting about lunatics. Mr. Mason stayed just long enough to tell the Dursleys that his wife was mortally afraid of birds of all shapes and sizes, and to ask whether this was their idea of a joke.  
**"..Oh dear" Lily said.**  
Harry stood in the kitchen, clutching the mop for support, as Uncle Vernon advanced on him, a demonic glint in his tiny eyes.  
**"YOU WON'T EVEN GET NEAR HIM!" Remus and Sirius growled glaring coldly at the book. James snatched the notebook out of Sirius's hands and wrote sharply, conjuring a quill and ink, nearly stabbing the book in his anger. What he and Lily wrote together took up two pages (and they both used small handwriting). To be able to continue reading, Dumbledore took the book from Lily and picked up where she left off.**  
"Read it!" he hissed evilly, brandishing the letter the owl had delivered.**

"Go on - read it!"

**Harry took it. It did not contain birthday greetings.**

Dear Mr. Potter, We have received intelligence that a Hover Charm was used at your place of residence this evening at twelve minutes past nine.

As you know, underage wizards are not permitted to perform spells outside school, and further spellwork on your part may lead to expulsion from said school (Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery, 1875, Paragraph C).

We would also ask you to remember that any magical activity that risks notice by members of the non-magical community (Muggles) is a serious offense under section 13 of the International Confederation of Warlocks' Statute of Secrecy.

Enjoy your holidays!

"Enjoy your holidays?" Minerva spluttered. James (simply in a pranking mood) decided to add one more name to the list.

**Yours sincerely, **

**Mafalda Hopkirk **

**IMPROPER USE OF MAGIC OFFICE **

**Ministry of Magic Harry looked up from the letter and gulped.**

"You didn't tell us you weren't allowed to use magic outside school," said Uncle Vernon, a mad gleam dancing in his eyes. "For got to mention it ... Slipped your mind, I daresay ...He was bearing down on Harry like a great bulldog, all his teeth bared. "Well, I've got news for you, boy . ... I'm locking you up ... You're never going back to that school ... never ... and if you try and magic yourself out - they'll expel you!" And laughing like a maniac, he dragged Harry back upstairs.  
"Leave my son alone!" Lily cried, and clenched her fists. Severus was deeply reminded of a certain someone at this point.**  
Uncle Vernon was as bad as his word. The following morning he paid a man to fit bars on Harry's window. He himself fitted a cat-flap in the bedroom door, so that small amounts of food could be pushed inside three times a day. They let Harry out to use the bathroom morning and evening. Otherwise, he was locked in his room around the clock.  
**"Couldn't you do something?" James demanded. He hated his son being locked up, and looking up to Dumbledore, had to believe something good could be done for Harry**  
Three days later, the Dursleys were showing no sign of relenting, and Harry couldn't see any way out of his situation. He lay on his bed watching the sun sinking behind the bars on the window and wondered miserably what was going to happen to him.  
**The steam was out of everyone by this point. Only sympathy and sadness was really in them now.**  
What was the good of magicking himself out of his room if Hogwarts would expel him for doing it. Yet life at Privet Drive had reached an all-time low. Now that the Dursleys knew they weren't going to wake up as fruit bats, he had lost his only weapon. Dobby might have saved Harry from horrible happenings at Hogwarts, but the way things were going, he'd probably starve to death anyway.**

The cat-flap rattled and Aunt Petunias hand appeared, pushing a bowl of canned soup into the room. Harry, whose insides were aching with hunger, jumped off his bed and seized it. The soup was stone-cold, but he drank half of it in one gulp. Then he crossed the room to Hedwig's cage and tipped the soggy vegetables at the bottom of the bowl into her empty food tray. She ruffled her feathers and gave him a look of deep disgust.

"It's no good turning your beak up at it - that's all we've got," said Harry grimly.  
"He has your spirit." James said knowingly, all of a sudden calmer. This surprised everyone (everyone who wasn't a Marauder that is) in the room, and they were suspicious **  
He put the empty bowl back on the floor next to the cat-flap and lay back down on the bed, somehow even hungrier than he had been before the soup.**

Supposing he was still alive in another four weeks, what would happen if he didn't turn up at Hogwarts. Would someone be sent to see why he hadn't come back. Would they be able to make the Dursleys let him go.

"Definitely." Sirius said calmly as well. This really creeped out all the non-Marauders.

**The room was growing dark. Exhausted, stomach rumbling, mind spinning over the same unanswerable questions, Harry fell into an uneasy sleep. He dreamed that he was on show in a zoo, with a card reading UNDERAGE WIZARD attached to his cage. People goggled through the bars at him as he lay, starving and weak, on a bed of straw. He saw Dobby's face in the crowd and shouted out, asking for help, but Dobby called, "Harry Potter is safe there, sir!" and vanished. Then the Dursleys appeared and Dudley rattled the bars of the cage, laughing at him.  
**"Your son has the strangest dreams." Remus said **  
"Stop it," Harry muttered as the rattling pounded in his sore head.**

"Leave me alone ... cut it out ... I'm trying to sleep . . . ." He opened his eyes. Moonlight was shining through the bars on the window. And someone was goggling through the bars at him: a freckle- faced, red-haired, long-nosed someone.  
"RON!" Everyone cried out in joy. Severus whispered it, but Lily heard him and smiled.**  
Ron Weasley was outside Harry's window.**

"YES!" James and Sirius did a victory dance attracting laughter in the room. They grinned, but everyone stopped laughing as an owl impatiently tapped the window outside. Everyone looked at the owl –who was a tawny- and Remus let him in. The owl was followed by another one –a snow white-, and dropped two important looking letters in front of Dumbledore and McGonagall. Both persons picked up the letter delivered to them, and read it over. Everyone else looked at them anxiously

"It seems I am needed at the Ministry. There seems to be a problem of sorts, and the Minister needs my advice." Dumbledore finally said.

"And it appears that I am also needed at Hogwarts for a few days." McGonagall said. "Considering we may be too busy to come back to Potter manor for a while, would you five mind continuing the reading, and filling us in when we come back?" She asked them sharply. The teens nodded in agreement, and the Headmaster walked out of the room, followed by his Deputy-Headmistress. But she paused for a moment and muttered a spell.

"That," She began to explain "Is a spell that will alert me to any prank spells that happen in this room." She said to the protest of others. "I do not believe I can trust all of you to behave for a few days by yourselves and therefore this is a mere precaution." She said before leaving the room.

***Who can remember what notebook Sirius was writing in? (Hint in case some of you forget, it was gift from the RoR)  
By the way, all reviews are appreciated (even flames XD). I'd also love it if some of you would take the time to vote on a recent poll set on my homepage. Thank you for reading this, the next one will be uploaded within 2 weeks (if my beta reader is up to betaing again).**


	4. This Is It

This story is on the backburner. It may not even come back. I've lost my inspiration and I hate disappointment from people who stay past 12 just to read stories (because some of them actually read my pathetic writing) and waste time waiting for me to continue this. Those are two reasons but this is the main one:

Unoriginality. I dislike it. At first I wanted to do this because hey, let see how many reviews a _newbie_ can get. I didn't start this commentary series, and while it was cool, feeling like people actually wanted to review what _I _wrote. But I realize now, it's only because I put witty, silly, or funny comments in between lines. Just writing things over what we already have read.

So this is probably the last "chapter" you're getting. Funny because the number four in Chinese means Death. In a way, this is the death of a story. This doesn't mean I've quit writing, I've just stopped this story. For a long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long… time. I'm going to focus on my time travel story, and other side stories to keep going. Maybe I'll take events I vaguely describe here and write those as well. But to even continue writing I'm going to need fans. Fans who will critic, compliment, praise, and not flame. And don't feel terrible if I cannot finish all deadlines I promise.

For those fans, please do not give up on me. And if possible vote on my poll (new one), if you want me to work on the Time Travel fanfic. And for the Harrys (the ones who blame themselves for every mistake people make in life) don't blame yourself!


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